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  • 予人玫瑰,手有余香:加拿大新天地工作移民诚聘求职顾问&行业导师!
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  • 予人玫瑰,手有余香:加拿大新天地工作移民诚聘求职顾问&行业导师!

@BC

谢谢各位网友的奉献! 最新版本,这篇文章最初由大虫出中文稿,多人翻译,修饰,是集体合作的结晶,(不知道能否成为今后学习英语的范文)

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear Our Kingston Neighbours:

We are from the Asian-Canadian Communities in the Greater Toronto Area. We have always been attracted to the beautiful scenes in Kingston, however, for today’s visit, we are appealing to our neighbours in Kingston to help the local Police identify suspects who attacked three individuals of Asian descent, including a 73-year old senior two weeks ago.

On the night of Sept. 14th 2007, three Scarborough residents, 73-year old fishing hobbyist Mr. Cheng, his son-in-law and another friend drove to Big Rideau Lake near Westport County north of Kingston to enjoy their night fishing.

Around midnight, a light-colored old minivan occupied by seven people pulled over near the spot where Mr. Cheng and his friends were fishing. Five heavy built young men rushed out of the vehicle, approached Mr. Cheng and cast their fishing equipments into the lake. A struggle occurred. Three of the young men grabbed Mr. Cheng’s son-in-law and then threw him from the 10-foot height bridge into the water. Meanwhile, Mr. Cheng and his friend who is in his sixties were beaten up. Fortunately, Mr. Cheng’s son-in-law was able to swim and escaped from the incident. However, Mr. Cheng was beaten into unconsciousness. After he came to, the attackers had already fled the scene. The fishing hobbyists all suffered injuries of different degrees.

As always, we believe that all the folks in Kingston are friendly and open-mind. You maybe do not know the victims, however, we are sure that you are just as concerned as us about this unimaginable violence, and we hope you will step out to denounce the violence on a 73-year old senior.

We need your support and help. If you happened to witness the incident or you have any clue about the suspects, please contact the local police. Also, we would like to provide a $1,000-dollar reward to those whose tips lead to an arrest. We also strongly suggest the attackers to turn themselves in.

Canada is an equal, diverse and peaceful country. We do believe that Canadians of different races, national or ethnic origins, colours or ages have contributed, and will keep on contributing to the building of our country.

And we hope with your help today, we will make our community a better place to enjoy. We are proud to be Canadians because we mean to make Canada a pleasant country to live in.

Thank you so much for your help!

For further contact, please call Kingston Police Department: 613-549-4660
Or you may email to us at: fishingsafely@yahoo.com

Information source: Sing Tao Daily更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下沙龙 / 枫下钓鱼 / Kingston 传单的英文稿,请大家积极提意见!
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear Kingston Neighbours:

    We are concerned members from the Asian-Canadian Communities in the Greater Toronto Area. We have always been attracted to the beautiful scenes in Kingston, however, for today’s visit, we are appealing to our neighbours in Kingston to help the local Police identify suspects who attacked three individuals of Asian descent, including a 73-year-old senior two weeks ago.

    On the night of Sept. 14th, three Scarborough residents, 73-year-old fishing hobbyist Mr. Cheng, his son-in-law and another friend drove to Big Rideau Lake near Westport County north of Kingston to enjoy their night fishing.

    At approximately midnight, a light-colored old minivan occupied by seven persons pulled over near the spot where Mr. Cheng and his friends were fishing. Five heavy built young men exited the vehicle, approached Mr. Cheng and cast their fishing equipments into the lake. A struggle ensured. Three of the young men grabbed Mr. Cheng’s son-in-law and then threw him from the 10-foot-height bridge into the water. Meanwhile, Mr. Cheng and his friend who is in his sixties were beaten up. Luckily enough, Mr. Cheng’ son-in-law could swim and made good of his escape. However, Mr Cheng was beaten into unconsciousness. After he came to, the attackers had already fled the scene. The fishing hobbyists all sustained different degrees of injuries.

    We have always believed that all the folks in Kingston are friendly with open mind. Though you may not know the victims, we are certain that you are just as concerned as we are about this senseless violence, and we hope you will step forward to denounce the attack on a 73-year-old senior.

    We hereby appeal to your sense of justice. If you are the witness to the incident or you have any information about the suspects, please contact the local police. We provide a reward of $1,000 to those whose tips lead to an arrest. We also urge the attackers to turn themselves in.

    Canada is an equal, diverse and peaceful country. We do believe that Canadians of different racial background, age and from every corner of the country have contributed, and will keep on contributing to the building of our nation for generations to come.

    And we hope with your help today, we will make our community a better place to live. We are proud to be Canadians because we mean to make Canada a proud country to live in.

    Thank you so much for you help!

    For further contact, please call Kingston Police Department: 613-549-4660
    Or you may email to us at: fishingsafely@yahoo.com更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • 写得很好, 支持!
    • 支持!因对整个事件没有特别关注所以没有仔细看。还请对该事件比较关注的并有一定英文及法律基础的人士,多仔细看看,并提一些修改意见。
    • 目前我有三处觉得是明显不对
      1. 从英文习惯上看, 应该去掉"CONCERNED MEMBERS"...............WE ARE FROM THE ASIAN-CANADIAN....
      2. AT APPROXIMATELY MIDNIGHT 应该该为: AROUND MIDNIGHT
      3. MINIVAN OCCUPIED BY SEVEN PERSONS........你们是不是想说 "SEVEN SEAT MINIVAN"? 如果有七人在车上, 五人下车来打人, 那么, 都被打成那样子了, 你们还能看那么清楚七人在车上, 五人下车来打?
      • 谢谢鱼兄: 打得太晕了,应该还是知道人数的吧, 另外 7 person 改成了 7 people, 另外两处,改得太好了!
    • 行动我坚决支持。好奇问一下,那位73岁的受害人后来报案了吗?如果没有,似乎师出无名。
      • 联系不到警方,只好在后面加上了:Information source: Sing Tao Daily 呵呵~~~~ (新稿)
        本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear Kingston Neighbours:

        We are from the Asian-Canadian Communities in the Greater Toronto Area. We have always been attracted to the beautiful scenes in Kingston, however, for today’s visit, we are appealing to our neighbours in Kingston to help the local Police identify suspects who attacked three individuals of Asian descent, including a 73-year-old senior two weeks ago.

        On the night of Sept. 14th 2007, three Scarborough residents, 73-year-old fishing hobbyist Mr. Cheng, his son-in-law and another friend drove to Big Rideau Lake near Westport County north of Kingston to enjoy their night fishing.

        Around midnight, a light-colored old minivan occupied by seven people pulled over near the spot where Mr. Cheng and his friends were fishing. Five heavy built young men exited the vehicle, approached Mr. Cheng and cast their fishing equipments into the lake. A struggle ensured. Three of the young men grabbed Mr. Cheng’s son-in-law and then threw him from the 10-foot-height bridge into the water. Meanwhile, Mr. Cheng and his friend who is in his sixties were beaten up. Luckily enough, Mr. Cheng’ son-in-law could swim and made good of his escape. However, Mr Cheng was beaten into unconsciousness. After he came to, the attackers had already fled the scene. The fishing hobbyists all sustained different degrees of injuries.

        We have always believed that all the folks in Kingston are friendly with open mind. Though you may not know the victims, we are certain that you are just as concerned as we are about this senseless violence, and we hope you will step forward to denounce the attack on a 73-year-old senior.

        We hereby appeal to your sense of justice. If you are the witness to the incident or you have any information about the suspects, please contact the local police. We provide a reward of $1,000 to those whose tips lead to an arrest. We also urge the attackers to turn themselves in.

        Canada is an equal, diverse and peaceful country. We do believe that Canadians of different racial background, age and from every corner of the country have contributed, and will keep on contributing to the building of our nation for generations to come.

        And we hope with your help today, we will make our community a better place to live. We are proud to be Canadians because we mean to make Canada a proud country to live in.

        Thank you so much for you help!

        For further contact, please call Kingston Police Department: 613-549-4660
        Or you may email to us at: fishingsafely@yahoo.com

        Information source: Sing Tao Daily更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
        • 那里不归Kingston警察管,由省警负责。Rideau Lakes 分局,在Smiths Falls小镇上。
          • 哪里有省警的举报电话? 急, 请帮忙! 中午就需要拿去复印!
            • 是不是这个呀? Rideau Lakes (Satellite) (613)283-6911 fax 283-3451 441 Hwy. 15, R.R. 1, Smiths Falls, ON K7A 5B8
              • 拨打灭罪热线就可以了,说清楚就行。1-800-222-8477
        • 1) at the night of (not on the night of); 2)threw him into water from (not threw him from ... into); 3) rushed out of the vehicle ( not exited the vehicle)
          • 1) on the night of OR at night (not at the night of); 2) doesn't matter too much; 3) wonderfully. Personal opinion only.
    • 一些修改建议,无所谓对错,只是可能在表达意思,拉近心理距离方面可能有些许不同,以供参考,权当一点绵力.
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear (Our) Kingston Neighbours:

      We are (concerned members: the members concerned) from the Asian-Canadian Communities in the Greater Toronto Area. We have always been attracted to the beautiful scenes in Kingston, however, for today’s visit, we are appealing to our neighbours in Kingston to help the local Police identify suspects who attacked three individuals of Asian descent, including a (73-year-old: 73-year old) senior two weeks ago.

      On the night of Sept. 14th, three Scarborough residents, (73-year-old: 73-year old) fishing hobbyist Mr. Cheng, his son-in-law and another friend drove to Big Rideau Lake near Westport County north of Kingston to enjoy their night fishing.

      At approximately midnight, a light-colored old minivan occupied by seven persons pulled over near the spot where Mr. Cheng and his friends were fishing. Five (heavy built: big and strong) young men (exited: got off) the vehicle, approached Mr. Cheng and cast their fishing equipments into the lake. A struggle (ensured: was incurred OR occurred). Three of the young men grabbed Mr. Cheng’s son-in-law and then threw him from the (10-foot-height: 10-foot high) bridge into the water. Meanwhile, Mr. Cheng and his friend who is in his sixties were beaten up. (Luckily enough: Fortunately), Mr. (Cheng’: Cheng’s) son-in-law (could: was able to) swim and (made good of his escape: escaped from the incident). However, Mr Cheng was beaten into unconsciousness. After he came to, the attackers had already fled the scene. The fishing hobbyists all (sustained: suffered) (different degrees of injuries: injuries of different degrees).

      (We have always believed: As always, we believe) that all the folks in Kingston are friendly (with open mind: and open-minded). (Though: removed here) you (may not: maybe do not) know the victims, (add “however” here), we are (certain: sure) that you are (just as concerned as we are: concerned as us) about this (senseless: unimaginable OR malicious) violence, and we hope you will step (forward: out) to denounce the (attack: violence) on a (73-year-old: 73-year old) senior.

      We (hereby appeal to your sense of justice: need your support and help). If you (are the witness to: happened to witness) the incident or you have any (information: clue) about the suspects, please contact the local police. (Also), we (would like to) provide a (reward of $1,000: $1,000-dollar reward) to those whose tips lead to an arrest. We also (urge: strongly suggest) the attackers to turn themselves in.

      Canada is an equal, diverse and peaceful country. We do believe that Canadians of different (racial background, age and from every corner of the country: races, national or ethnic origins, colours or ages) have contributed, and will keep on contributing to the building of our (nation: country) (for generations to come: superfluous, removed here).

      And we hope with your help today, we will make our community a better place to live (and enjoy). We are proud to be Canadians because we mean to make Canada a (proud: pleasant and comfortable) country to live in.

      Thank you so much for (you: your) help!

      For further contact, please call Kingston Police Department: 613-549-4660
      Or you may email to us at: fishingsafely@yahoo.com更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • 改得好。老兄英文有功力。
      • 实在是高,高家庄的高,呵呵。1)感觉开头第一二句话合并为好:As members of Asian-Canadian Communities in Greater Toronto Area, we have always been attracted to the beauty of Kingston.
        2)were beaten up 加上heavily ; 3)open-mind是noun吧,是不是应该为open-minded?
        • 我的英语太烂, Beauty 是不是有指美女的嫌疑哦?3)open-mind 要open-minded 吗?
          • friendly是adj,and后面的也一定用adj,即open-minded;beauty可以指一切美的东西。
            • 如果更明确一点,可以用scenic beauty of Kingston
    • 开头应该像这样的写法最好了。。。
      萨拉热窝的公民们,最后一次向你们宣告:。。。。。。
    • 谢谢各位网友的奉献! 最新版本,这篇文章最初由大虫出中文稿,多人翻译,修饰,是集体合作的结晶,(不知道能否成为今后学习英语的范文)
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear Our Kingston Neighbours:

      We are from the Asian-Canadian Communities in the Greater Toronto Area. We have always been attracted to the beautiful scenes in Kingston, however, for today’s visit, we are appealing to our neighbours in Kingston to help the local Police identify suspects who attacked three individuals of Asian descent, including a 73-year old senior two weeks ago.

      On the night of Sept. 14th 2007, three Scarborough residents, 73-year old fishing hobbyist Mr. Cheng, his son-in-law and another friend drove to Big Rideau Lake near Westport County north of Kingston to enjoy their night fishing.

      Around midnight, a light-colored old minivan occupied by seven people pulled over near the spot where Mr. Cheng and his friends were fishing. Five heavy built young men rushed out of the vehicle, approached Mr. Cheng and cast their fishing equipments into the lake. A struggle occurred. Three of the young men grabbed Mr. Cheng’s son-in-law and then threw him from the 10-foot height bridge into the water. Meanwhile, Mr. Cheng and his friend who is in his sixties were beaten up. Fortunately, Mr. Cheng’s son-in-law was able to swim and escaped from the incident. However, Mr. Cheng was beaten into unconsciousness. After he came to, the attackers had already fled the scene. The fishing hobbyists all suffered injuries of different degrees.

      As always, we believe that all the folks in Kingston are friendly and open-mind. You maybe do not know the victims, however, we are sure that you are just as concerned as us about this unimaginable violence, and we hope you will step out to denounce the violence on a 73-year old senior.

      We need your support and help. If you happened to witness the incident or you have any clue about the suspects, please contact the local police. Also, we would like to provide a $1,000-dollar reward to those whose tips lead to an arrest. We also strongly suggest the attackers to turn themselves in.

      Canada is an equal, diverse and peaceful country. We do believe that Canadians of different races, national or ethnic origins, colours or ages have contributed, and will keep on contributing to the building of our country.

      And we hope with your help today, we will make our community a better place to enjoy. We are proud to be Canadians because we mean to make Canada a pleasant country to live in.

      Thank you so much for your help!

      For further contact, please call Kingston Police Department: 613-549-4660
      Or you may email to us at: fishingsafely@yahoo.com

      Information source: Sing Tao Daily更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • Five heavy built young men 感觉不是很好,可能有点夸大,不是所有白人都是壮汉, 另外1000$ Reward 要不要印成黑体?
        • Agree. "big and strong" as indictated by Lifeitself is better. and Bold font of reward amout is good.
      • 坦白地讲,别扭的地方太多太多。
        这种严肃的传单绝对不能有任何语法上逻辑上可笑的地方,否则效果完全适得其反。还是找个本地朋友帮着修改一下。

        最重要的是,内容不知道是去诉苦的,还是去抓罪犯的。改成简单陈述案情和受害人的伤情,并请求本地社区提供案犯信息即最有震慑力和最容易获得同情。扯上一大堆贡献之类的大道理等和事件不完全相干的东西,极大削弱了这个传单的有效性。

        建议重写。

        绝无冒犯之意。
        • 这些日子都在忙这个,我们已经尽力找人帮忙了,如果你知道有高手,请帮帮忙好吗?
          • gagstrip 说得有道理。 这次是去表达愤怒和震慑犯罪分子。个人觉得叙述应该直来直去,别太“缠绵”。
            比如,开头就 To our Kingston.neigbours, We were shocked when we heard.... ....statement of victim’s status( attract people immediately in the first paragraph). Description what happened (second paragraph), and then ask for help and clue for tracking down the criminals. Also, we ‘d better not to use “we are from Asian community “. Most of them should know you guys are Asians, or let them to guess.

            By the way, I don’t think local people could help you change your writing structure and style. They may only help check grammar or use of words.
    • 12点定稿, 请尽快提建议!
      • 建议开头结尾简洁一点,别太客气,告诉他们我们就是来辑凶的。记住,人性的弱点是欺软怕硬。
    • 注意, 七人来, 五人动手打的背后: 一人准备紧急开车并兼通讯员, 另外一人手拿枪防范打不过时出动.
      • 有道理,看来是非常有预谋的! 另外一个据说是小孩,拿枪不太可能,但是准备紧急开车是一定的。
    • 不是说在westport发生的事吗?关Kingston什么事呢?好象还离点距离吧。
    • 一点小意见
      文章中顯示出濃厚的氣息.事件是沖着加耤亞洲人而來.个人看來,這不会引來社会大众的回响,即使受害人都是国移同胞.不要以狹獈立場,心情耒表达华人社區的關注,不滿和憤怒. 个人認為,安省可以釣魚的地方到处都是,為爭取當地社區和安省大众的回响..文章中應表明任何釣魚人仕,不管任何国藉.膚色,人种, 到該地点釣魚的人.都会成為受襲擊的對像.
      事不關已,己不勞心.其他种族的加国移民也許不大感兴趣你门中国人的事.若在聲名中指出任何釣魚人仕都会成為受襲擊的對像.也許会引起更大的回應和支持