To hkchan(0)大哥，白天忙了一些，现在完成了师奶应该完成的功课，晚安之前挣扎上来完成白天想写给你的贴子。嘿嘿。请你网上看看一个人死去亲人以后的BEREAVEMENT的过程，先知道一些这方面的信息，再明白现在打扰他，再重提失去亲人的痛，是不是合适和适当。 -tiara(松鼠回来啦) @BC省华人论坛:BC省枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of BC

如果想知道更多关于BEREAVEMENT的知识，请看连接.

哎呀，晚安啦

http://www.bfotoronto.ca

嘿嘿，不知道香港那边是不是也有“欲速则不达”这个成语了。晚安 -tiara(松鼠回来啦); 2009-7-8 (#5403294@0)

Yes, I understand what you meant. And this is why I said we should let my idea to be cooked for a few days and let other big brothers / sisters to review it. I hope to wait until the plan is matured from the perspective of her family and Rolians. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-8 {74} (#5403341@0)
I have no predefined time frame for it. Again, thanks for you suggestion.
BTW, it is me who are not good in Chinese but people from HK. Look at OntarioCAS, he also came from HK and he has no problem to write, read, and speak Chinese. I am language handicap. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-8 (#5403361@0)
中国人什么最重要面子，老婆跳楼还要人家站出来谴责什么机构，是人都不会想出来的吧 -may11(May); 2009-7-9 (#5404470@0)

I am not asking him to stand up, I just hope we can ask his approval before we start a compaign to request a public inquiry on this disaster. And my main focus is to find out how we can aovid future disaster. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-9 {257} (#5404482@0)
Other people have have other agenda, e.g. accusing CAS. This is beyond my control.

Or you suggested we should just sit tight and wait for another disaster. I don't agree this approach.

But I agree with Mrs. 松鼠 that we should not push her husband.

是啊，我们只需要他的默许。而其他的事情有这么多热心的朋友呢。其实不过是避免将来家属出来反对、大家前功尽弃局面发生而已。 -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 (#5404807@0)

My worry is that the public inquiry would more or less disturn the peace of his family. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-9 (#5405078@0)
and I don't even know her name. We can't just name her "loveblue". -hkchan(0); 2009-7-9 (#5405107@0)

为什么不可以呢？如果要尽大可能的给与这个家庭相对平静，同时又能帮助真相大白，就不能把他们的具体信息贴出来，比如地址，电话什么的。我不认为这么做有什么不严谨的，我们需要政府调查真相，又不想询问家属。 -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 (#5405418@0)

有没有可能家属认为真相已白，但是选择沉默呢？ -copperbean(豆泡果之铜豌豆); 2009-7-9 (#5405450@0)

It can be one of the possibilities. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-9 (#5405477@0)
不是教堂在帮他吗，教堂希望他能宽容。 -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 (#5405495@0)

If you read my post, you should know my first criteria is getting consent from her family. I would not suggest to do anything until we got the green light from her family. I fully appreciated your suggestion. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-8 (#5403337@0)

I agree with Mrs. 松鼠 about the timing; do we have any Rolian who know the family? -hkchan(0); 2009-7-8 (#5403355@0)

嘿嘿，香港大哥也，估计你不知道什么是BEREAVEMENT了，香港那边这些资讯很发达的，而且BEREAVEMENT做得也很好的。估计你当时没有放在心上了。那个去世女士的家人正经历BEREAVEMENT，感情上还没有平复，怎么有精力时间加入你们的抗争呢， -tiara(松鼠回来啦); 2009-7-9 {225} (#5404296@0)
他们这个时候最需要的是最实际的帮助，比如，如何走出GRIEF，走出BEREAVEMETN，然后得到DAYCARE来照顾孩子等等。。。

人只有在最基本的需求被满足了的时候，才可以考虑上层建筑，比如如何和政府抗争呀，如何
为整个华人社区的福利著想等等

If I recalled right from psychology 101, there would be 5 stages the poor family must get through, denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-9 {460} (#5404473@0)
If they are still in stage 1, they would not want to do anything but if they are in stage 2, they probably would jump on to our boat and even ask for more. I don't know what stage they are.

But don't worry, I am not pushing the family. As a matter of fact, I don't even have their contact. Only oldyou has it but I don't thik he wants to do it now either. Thanks for reminding.

BTW, I left HK for so long. You seem to know more about HK than me.

嘿嘿，忍不住笑了呢，谢谢香港大哥了噢，看来是做了一些功课的 -tiara(松鼠回来啦); 2009-7-9 (#5404700@0)

I did my homework 25+ years ago in University. Forgot most of them! -hkchan(0); 2009-7-9 (#5404974@0)

25年前的东西海记得住，已经不错了，如果我毕业25年了，估计什么都忘记了，嘿嘿 -tiara(松鼠回来啦); 2009-7-9 (#5405213@0)

I remember it becuase I had the experience. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-9 (#5405223@0)

说下我的看法。我认为 tiara (松鼠回来啦) 是在误导大家。那个录像里的女孩是被谋杀的，这种情况作为家属只能依靠警方，难道还自己破案不成。可是 loveblue,的情况是完全不同的。她的昭雪，需要的是民众的呼声 -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 {342} (#5404694@0)

需要她家人的努力，否则别无他路。

除非，她的老公真的打算逃避（我的看法，我不认为那是宽容，我也不认为妻子的问题没有个说法，他能平静余生）

民众的热情不可能会持续长久，你认为等大家的热情都平息下来，还会有多少人有耐心再听这个老掉牙的话题呢？即使他的老公希望有人能再次发起倡议、为妻子讨回个公道，难道不会有很多人觉得他有点 “祥林嫂” 拉吗？

谢谢回贴子，嘿嘿，不过抱歉啦，我不会和你讨论的，因为这个帖子是给香港大哥的。社会论坛别的朋友如何和我无关，但我希望香港大哥和BROTHER油油平安无事。好啦，你接着思考你的想法了，我不打扰了 -tiara(松鼠回来啦); 2009-7-9 (#5404713@0)

阿，那俺搞错啦。俺以为，当众大声讲出来，给hkchan听只是名，说给大家听才是目的。俩人，完全可以发短消息吗？ -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 (#5404737@0)
BROTHER油油的平安有什么问题吗？听起来跟梅妖威胁那个孩子爹似的，很猖狂啊。 -oldyou(CAS是狼外婆吗); 2009-7-9 (#5405060@0)

嘿嘿，BROTHER油油也，忍不住笑了呢，哪个海妖噢，介绍给我们认识一下啦。 -tiara(松鼠回来啦); 2009-7-9 (#5405211@0)

给TA一次做人的机会。TA只要不再跳，我就不说了。鼠妹那么聪明，你应该也猜到七八分了。 -oldyou(CAS画皮之妖); 2009-7-9 (#5405216@0)

只要不写信给CBC ，这里说没有关系，俺也不想太出名 -may11(May); 2009-7-9 (#5405231@0)

能成就你野心的，不是你的学位，而是这一手妖画人皮的本领。真的佩服。 -oldyou(CAS画皮之妖); 2009-7-9 (#5405264@0)

呵呵，讲的有理。 -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 (#5405288@0)

我曾经以为TA真的是给被爹妈打坏了的孩子，对TA充满同情，这两天才发现，TA原来就是所谓的专业人士，还是身居＂高层＂的专业人士。 -oldyou(CAS画皮之妖); 2009-7-9 (#5405298@0)

阿，真的？怪不得反差这么大，因为生活中很难遇到 may11 如此个性的。 -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 (#5405466@0)

”....俺也不想太出名" 不过还是想出名。呵呵 -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 (#5405430@0)

I don't know if you were talking about me and have no idea what TA is. But I hope you can agree with my idea. You are much more appropriate than me to take the lead if you can agree with my approach. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-9 (#5405239@0)

不是早已经有人说过吗，给你干一个星期就得开溜。妖在里面，没有十年也得八年，否则怎么能给你开出150K的年薪。 -oldyou(CAS画皮之妖); 2009-7-9 (#5405272@0)

I really don't understand what you said. -hkchan(0); 2009-7-9 (#5405280@0)

那个 TA 一定不是你啦。不过我也没明白具体的意思。 -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 (#5405351@0)

你太天真了。。。或者说你太实诚了 -kqc(海市); 2009-7-9 {26} (#5405319@0)
其实你lead一下可能还有希望

也是没搞明白。如果他们继续下去，会有危险吗？挺慎人。CAS ? 还是哪里啊？叫你说的，政府那么恐怖啊？ -goldensands(Dream); 2009-7-9 (#5405321@0)

@BC

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